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[Applause]

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i know i know

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well i got the story here and i think

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this is uh going to be very uplifting

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and a very positive thing when it comes

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to role models and

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everything you want you can achieve in

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life

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this is a headline here bake bean

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fanatic changes his name to captain

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beanie

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and spends ten thousand pounds making

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his home

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a shrine

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that's good news

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you ever hear captain beanie joe

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no but i'm on i mean refried or baked i

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don't know that's what i got well

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he has he's sitting on a couch uh he's

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wearing an all uh orange uh suit with

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orange boots with high heels he's

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sitting on an inflatable orange

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uh couch and he has heinz baked beaned

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uh towelettes and logos and tapestries

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all over

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his house i mean look at that face

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uh yes uh the man whose real name is now

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captain beanie spent ten thousand pounds

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turning his home into a shrine to bake

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beans the

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67 year old known as barry kirk until he

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changed his name recently

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by deed in 1991 has painted his walls

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orange stuck hines beans label onto

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almost every surface of his house even

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created a beans themed christmas tree

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you hear about that one a beansteam

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christmas tree that's some good news on

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that front it

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is he also recently showcased his bean

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themed coffin on instagram complete with

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heinz labels that reads rip

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captain beanie so he's going to get

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buried

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in

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uh a bean casket actually mike if you if

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you look closely at that second photo it

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the uh the the the tombstone actually

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says rib

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as in rest in beans

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oh my bad rib no

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the story from daily star is incorrect

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it does say rip so you got that correct

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but the if you look in that photo you

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can see it's actually rest in beans not

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rest in peace oh okay well this is

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fantastic disgusting this is fantastic

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that's a huge piece of news it is thanks

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alex for pointing that out

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speaking to the

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owl bible captain beanie revealed that

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he

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for charity and generate

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resources

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okay

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where's your you need to buzz that and

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going to jail

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he recently competed in london's

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marathon raising money uh for young lies

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versus cancer and supported

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charity uh once more one

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once more one week later at the

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swinston's half marathon so this guy is

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running around eating beans farting and

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running marathons nonstop

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one of them makes him slightly faster to

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run the marathons i don't know like he's

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being propelled by his flatulence

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maybe or is he slowing down people

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behind him with some sort of toxic gas

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attack oh yeah like spy hunter butt yeah

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it is just like uh spy hunter yeah you

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do button yeah serial defecator

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dude i'll tell you what like as a runner

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i've run marathons half marathons i've

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never done iron man but i've always

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wanted to but uh the um

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the poop thing is a real thing people do

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it all the time and the bloody nipples

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thing is another factor but yeah this is

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hilarious i wonder how is this becoming

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a thing now like everybody in the

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running community knows well this guy's

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eating beans like as he runs instead of

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handing him water they hand him a can of

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beans

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slugs it down

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and finish the marathon oh stay hydrated

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you do

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gives you some protein to give you some

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extra

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you know kick in your step

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it's got i i wonder if this guy is

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married is captain beanie married i

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don't know um so based on his first

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yes goal his goal is to make families

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my my dad used to do jesus

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you might know this one beans means the

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good for the heart the more you eat the

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more you fart beans means the musical

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fruit

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the more you eat the more you toot yeah

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get it right your dad was wrong

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well he you know

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so this captain beanie being on the

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lookout people he's gonna like uh

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marvel's running out of characters so he

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might be he might have a new marvel

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movie who knows i i can see the new

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batman after he defeats the joker the

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true true villain is captain captain

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where's tim pool factory

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[Music]

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he i guess technically uh kim temple is

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captain beanie isn't he yeah yes yeah

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tim paul got covered by this way i don't

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think he's ever taken it off he's

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probably showered with that [\h__\h] he

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had coveted and i don't think he had he

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probably got covered due to his beanie

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like his his beanie like preserve the

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coffee

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it's like his magical power like some

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superheroes derive their magical

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abilities from like an

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amulet or a cape but no temple has a

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beanie

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before he gets into the news and the ad

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comes in like he kind of covers the

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story it's unfortunate his format a lot

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of it's not to criticize i don't want to

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know i will say that i will in our

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community

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i i will i'll tell them this if tim paul

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if you're listening i know you are okay

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if you're doing a story

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and you read a news like a typical news

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story 10 minutes it doesn't need to be

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30 minutes just hit the news stories and

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do your monologue at the end i think

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you know

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or at least like do like highlighted

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stuff like the way you would circle [\h__\h]

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in a printed book back in the day like i

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want to read you the story here's the

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headline and i'm going to just pull out

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some certain parts you know and and and

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i think that might be it because

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you can use screen readers and all kinds

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of stuff if you really want the news

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read to you um i think he does a good

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job and i think he does a great job yeah

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and i think that him and like dave rubin

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and a lot of the people like even jimmy

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dore like you mentioned earlier it's

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like

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they are

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slowly being pushed away from the

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reality that the social engineers have

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been creating for so long i think

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there's a lot left that they can shed

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not like a virus because they're all

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vaccinated but they could still shed

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some of this

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woke ideology and all this other

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horseshit that ends up in people's

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brains like let's simplify things man

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roots not branches

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yeah well i got one more story here

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how dare you and this is furious pizza

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hut customer there's still pizza out

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there people furious pizza hut customer

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says he was sold old food in someone

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else's doggy bag man i got mixed

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emotions about this one

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oh yes a bloke who ordered pizza hut uh

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a pizza delivery opened up his lunch to

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find that he'd been sent a pile of

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leftovers

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with the restaurant admitting they sent

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him they sent him someone else's doggy

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bag by mistake

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uh daryl davis 42

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from wales said he was dribbling with

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anticipation

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when the just each driver banged on his

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door but his excitement soon turned to

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disgust when he opened the unsealed

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pizza box inside there were the remains

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of

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dry old pizza with two different

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toppings in a slice missing and no sign

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of the american barbecue pizza he had

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ordered

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well

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i will just say that if he ordered

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british made american barbecue pizza and

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didn't get it then whatever he got was

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better

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all right

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uh so i'm just amazed that well maybe

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i'm not i mean i guess i'm not amazed at

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all that

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pizza just has old dry pizza laying

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around with slices they sell pizza they

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sell pizza by the bag is it like

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they have a couple of bags behind the

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counter

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give me a bag of old pizza i'd like a

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bag of pizza please like what is this a

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thing

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yeah i guess it is yeah two i'll take

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two yes i'll take two uh old

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uh bags of pizza

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you wanted to say some slices uh there

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the there

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some slice on some slices there looks

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like some chicken was on it and one was

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definitely vegetarian the customer said

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there's definitely more than one

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different type of pizza in the box it

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shouldn't happen during normal times let

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alone

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when this covered

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so i guess it because it's code times

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are

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more important now and uh they could get

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it wrong before but not now they're not

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people are not going to put up with this

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with covet around it is critical that

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you get the correct pizza order yes

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but fauci said that the other day joe

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when was the last time you had pizza hut

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i think it was about 2002

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um

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i was in loudounville ohio uh camping

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uh that might be the last one did you go

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in and order a bag of pizza

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no i wish i knew they had those though

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because it's very convenient because you

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remember they had all this there was

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this rage that like they discovered

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pizza flavoring and they would throw it

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on

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whatever any chip you could imagine and

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all this stuff and so

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no that's

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that is weird though like what is this

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switcheroo is bill cosby running the

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pizza shop now too like what's going on

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here did you eat the pizza how did this

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all end up he said uh they were all

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different slices i ordered the american

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barbecue one normally

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when you got melted cheese there's a

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dude if you have preferences about pizza

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hut pizza like this is like

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what do you see when you see

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tossed out litter beer on the freeway

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it's always the shittiest beer

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you know what i mean you got what you

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[\h__\h] deserve i don't give a [\h__\h] well

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uh

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a spokesperson for pizza said the health

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and safety of our customers

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is of the almost utmost importance to

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pizza hut and we are committed to

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maintaining somewhat high standards in

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all of our branches i added some extra

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words in there it's gonna say there's

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also this below the guy says

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come on seriously dude you ordered

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00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:41,440
a bag of pizza from pizza hut what do

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you expect yeah and yeah that should

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00:10:49,590 --> 00:10:46,800
come on the back they said that we

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they're launching new slogan pizza

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00:10:58,790 --> 00:10:56,310
the uh pizza is launching a full-fledged

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investigation okay good with you

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get the fbi involved

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00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:02,399
just added two more detectives to the

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[Laughter]

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i wonder if

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if the pizza is going to hire like

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people in mcdonald's to stand out front

295
00:11:19,590 --> 00:11:18,000
you know and protest themselves there

296
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you go they get to get some sympathy

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00:11:22,949 --> 00:11:21,600
kind of like a false flag fast food kind

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00:11:24,550 --> 00:11:22,959
of thing why would mcdonald's be

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protesting at pizza hut

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because you know that's what you do when

301
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you have rival competition you kind of

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00:11:31,350 --> 00:11:29,519
make it look bad it's like a full swag

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00:11:33,430 --> 00:11:31,360
kind of thing you know there you go and

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00:11:35,750 --> 00:11:33,440
it or little caesars might do it little

305
00:11:38,870 --> 00:11:35,760
caesars they have the spears yeah yeah

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00:11:41,190 --> 00:11:38,880
yeah i love that the pizza police's uh

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00:11:42,470 --> 00:11:41,200
anagram is peepee that's just great we

308
00:11:44,470 --> 00:11:42,480
should run into this

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00:11:51,829 --> 00:11:44,480
oh i'm part of the pee pee there'd be

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00:11:55,430 --> 00:11:53,750
i i just like weird

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00:11:57,430 --> 00:11:55,440
you can still get a pizza in a bag just

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like one bag please

313
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i think that's a good way to measure

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stuff and then you just walk out with

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00:12:04,230 --> 00:12:02,639
this greasy bag that instantly falls

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00:12:06,550 --> 00:12:04,240
apart

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00:12:09,190 --> 00:12:06,560
can i get a bag of a hamburger

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00:12:10,550 --> 00:12:09,200
can i get a bag of hamburgers please

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yeah thank you

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00:12:14,389 --> 00:12:12,720
look at that why is he lawyer

321
00:12:16,629 --> 00:12:14,399
jesus do you remember my parents used to

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00:12:18,710 --> 00:12:16,639
get like a 30 box and we'd go to white

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00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:18,720
castle and be like just

324
00:12:22,310 --> 00:12:20,959
we'd kill that [\h__\h] my dad still loves

325
00:12:23,990 --> 00:12:22,320
it that is my

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00:12:25,750 --> 00:12:24,000
my dad's uh fast food of choice i

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00:12:27,910 --> 00:12:25,760
believe is white castle he loves that

328
00:12:28,629 --> 00:12:27,920
it's really good i mean i know i miss

329
00:12:30,629 --> 00:12:28,639
him

330
00:12:31,670 --> 00:12:30,639
hey i'm i miss that stuff i miss i might

331
00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:31,680
have to go out and get taco bell

332
00:12:35,430 --> 00:12:33,680
sometime if i do i'll live stream it

333
00:12:37,269 --> 00:12:35,440
okay

334
00:12:39,030 --> 00:12:37,279
you should go live on instagram follow

335
00:12:40,310 --> 00:12:39,040
us livestream the two hours of cramps

336
00:12:42,550 --> 00:12:40,320
and then live stream your adventures in

337
00:12:45,110 --> 00:12:42,560
the bathroom later

338
00:12:47,030 --> 00:12:45,120
done yes and show us your defecation

339
00:12:49,829 --> 00:12:47,040
done and done as that's part of the del

340
00:12:51,990 --> 00:12:49,839
taco challenge is that you they you like

341
00:12:54,389 --> 00:12:52,000
go to del taco taco bell you start the

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00:12:55,990 --> 00:12:54,399
app and then you eat the food and then

343
00:12:58,150 --> 00:12:56,000
it's a race against the

344
00:13:00,470 --> 00:12:58,160
race against the clock

345
00:13:02,470 --> 00:13:00,480
24.

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00:13:04,629 --> 00:13:02,480
i thought the del taco challenge was eat

347
00:13:07,110 --> 00:13:04,639
a bunch of del taco and then watch lord

348
00:13:09,509 --> 00:13:07,120
of the rings no you make it no it is you

349
00:13:11,430 --> 00:13:09,519
start the app and then you ride around

350
00:13:13,110 --> 00:13:11,440
in with stomach cramps and pain on the

351
00:13:14,629 --> 00:13:13,120
floor with because you have severe

352
00:13:16,710 --> 00:13:14,639
severe diarrhea

353
00:13:18,470 --> 00:13:16,720
and the app will only turn off if you

354
00:13:21,030 --> 00:13:18,480
take it to the bathroom and then it

355
00:13:21,910 --> 00:13:21,040
listens it's audio cues to hear your

356
00:13:23,750 --> 00:13:21,920
dump

357
00:13:25,750 --> 00:13:23,760
and the longest the longer you can go

358
00:13:27,670 --> 00:13:25,760
the more points you score on the dell

359
00:13:30,550 --> 00:13:27,680
taco and

360
00:13:38,330 --> 00:13:32,310
yeah rewards towards more del taco this

361
00:13:38,340 --> 00:13:42,150
[Music]

362
00:13:47,030 --> 00:13:45,509
some sort of taco masochism

363
00:13:48,470 --> 00:13:47,040
it's just it's part of i mean the app is

364
00:13:49,990 --> 00:13:48,480
not totally fleshed out you know they

365
00:13:51,269 --> 00:13:50,000
got to gamified a little bit more say

366
00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:51,279
the app was not totally flushed out is

367
00:13:55,990 --> 00:13:52,800
that what you just said flashed out

368
00:13:59,710 --> 00:13:56,000
flashed out give us an email at our big

369
00:14:02,389 --> 00:13:59,720
dumb month gmail.com check out

370
00:14:03,590 --> 00:14:02,399
obdmport.com for all the social media

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00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:03,600
and donation links